Paradise Lost
by WalkerTRngr
Summary: This follows the events after Booth says he no longer wants to get married.


Hi everyone! While I'm not new to writing fanfiction I am to writing a Bones fic so please be kind :) I'd love to hear what you think. Enjoy! This story was inspired by the song "The Last Time." By Taylor Swift and Gary Lightbody. Truly an amazing song.

Dr. Temperance Brennan stood her head leaning the against the wall behind her. She took a deep breath and willed the tears to go away. Dr. Brennan had always been a smart, capable woman. She had an IQ that was off the charts and more degrees and professional certifications than she could count. For the longest time she measured personal happiness and success by how far she'd risen in her field, how many papers she'd published, and how many conferences she headlined. When she met Special Agent Seeley Booth her life started to change. He saw right past her stoic, emotionless demeanor. He created a spark in her life that lit a small fire, that became a raging inferno. She couldn't be emotionless anymore.

Dr. Brennan had been forever changed. She had feelings she often couldn't define but she knew simply that she now she measured her life differently. Personal happiness was measured by how many times her heart fluttered when he entered a room. It was the number of times he'd give her that smile in a day (the one he reserved only for her). It was the feeling of holding their daughter for the first time. Success was having a home rather a house. Complete with a man cave and rather ridiculous blinking lights at Christmas. She heard a song once "Said I loved you but I lied 'Cause this is more than love I feel inside." She couldn't fully explain how Booth made her feel. That's one of reasons why she'd asked him to marry her. Sometimes the things we don't fully understand are the things that feel the most right. She only hoped she hadn't made the biggest mistake of her life.

_Right before your eyes, _

_I'm breaking, no past No reasons why, _

_Just you and me._

_This is the last time I'm asking you this, _

_Put my name at the top of your list, _

_This is the last time I'm asking you why, You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye._

Special Agent Seeley Booth watched the retreating figure of the woman he loved. He knew what he'd just done. He'd just broken her heart and he didn't know of any way to rectify the current situation. He was a man of action and yet he felt helpless, like his hands and feet were bound and he couldn't move.

He remembered the first time he ever met his Bones. She was gorgeous, magical even. So different from any other woman he'd ever met. Of course she'd probably say what he'd experienced was a natural reaction to the eye seeing something it found visually appealing. It was so much more than that. If only he'd known then how much more.

He stood in his living room and felt like the world around him was moving at warp speed and he was glued in place. Bullet time, that's what they called it in the movies. The effect of focusing in one person or object and slowing them down while the world around them keeps moving. He remembered one movie night Bones pointing that out to him. It's more than just a stunning visual effect she had said, it was called bullet time. Of course it had a name and of course she knew what it was. There wasn't anything she didn't know. Except how much he really did want to marry her.

_I imagine you are home, In your room, all alone, And you open your eyes into mine, And everything feels better,_

_Right before your eyes, I'm aching, no past Nowhere to hide, Just you and me..._

Bones couldn't help the feelings of indifference she was displaying toward her partner Seeley Booth. She was protecting herself by doing so. She was protecting her daughter too. She still couldn't comprehend how he has was able to sit so calmly and tell her he no longer wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. No matter what he said now to the contrary that's how she interpreted his words. Booth knew what it meant for Bones to ask him to marry her. How could he expect her to interpret this rejection any differently? Then asking her for confirmation that they were indeed OK. Okay? How they ever going to be OK again? Telling her he'd die for her, that he loved her, only infuriated her more. He didn't get to make her feel bad. Her reactions to his rejection were completely warranted and she reckoned quite understandable as well. Booth had to live with the consequences of his actions.

_You find yourself at my door, _

_Just like all those times before, _

_You wear your best apology, _

_But I was there to watch you leave,_

_And all the times I let you in, _

_Just for you to go again, _

_Disappear when you come back, Everything is better._

Why couldn't Bones see they were still the same couple? Nothing had changed. They still loved each other. Still had a beautiful daughter. So he had to turn down her proposal shortly after accepting it. That didn't mean he no longer loved her. Surely she knew that? If he was completely honest with himself (something that was painful for him to do at this moment in time) he would see that his own feelings of sadness and heartbreak were projecting themselves on Temperance. She saw a man who barely slept, stayed out all night, and stank of booze. How could he honestly expect her to believe things were still the same if he didn't believe that himself?

_This is the last time I say it's been you all along, _

_This is the last time, I won't hurt you anymore. _

_Oh, oh, oh, This is the last time I'm asking you this_

Paradise Lost. What an apt title for a strip club, Bones thought as she palmed the business card. In her mind all paradise had been lost. She'd been abandoned as a teenager and vowed never again to let herself be that emotionally helpless. Honestly, that had been one of the main reasons it had taken her so long to act on her feelings for Booth. She was too afraid that if she let go, she'd never be able to recover if it didn't work out. As she pulled up to the club, she found it wasn't one at all. As she entered the establishment she found it to be a friendly neighborhood watering hole. She never remembered Booth talking about this place but it must hold some significance. Bones soon found that out in the form of an ex priest turned bartender named Aldo. He told her that Booth wanted to marry her more than anything else. More than she even wanted to marry him. Now she was really confused. But maybe this Aldo was right. If she stepped back and put her emotions aside she could analyze things more clearly. Booth had always wanted to marry her. That she knew. He had never pushed her because he had known how she felt about marriage and respected her views. When she'd finally realized she did want to marry him and had asked he'd been elated. Like a kid at Christmas. It didn't make sense that he'd suddenly change his mind unless his mind had been changed for him. Truth be told he'd never stopped loving her or Christine but her anger had kept her from seeing that. Bones knew she needed to head home and apologize. She went to pay her tab when Aldo told her it was on the house. She hurried home. Whatever was keeping Booth from marrying her wasn't going to ruin their family, she would make sure of that.

_Right before your eyes, _

_I'm breaking and fast, _

_No reasons why, _

_Just you and me._

_This is the last time I'm asking you this, _

_Put my name on the top of your list, _

_This is the last time I'm asking you why, You break my heart in the blink of an eye._

_This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong, This is the last time I let you in my door,_

Booth tentatively pulled into his driveway. He wouldn't say he was dreading going home just worried about what would transpire when he did. He knew telling Bones he didn't want to marry her would be hard but not this hard. The woman he loved more than life itself was falling apart in front of his eyes and he couldn't do anything about it. His calm and collected partner was a mess and it was all his fault. Well Pelant's really but not to her. He finally got the nerve to get of the car. As he walked in the front door he was surprised to see her pouring him a glass wine. He started to feel optimistic. That optimism flew right out the window the second she told him that she needed to talk to him. No please God, no he thought. I just need a little more time. She can't leave me now. I finally have everything I've ever wanted. He held his breath as she spoke. She wasn't leaving. His Bones wasn't leaving. She loved him and knew he loved her. She trusted him. Bones would wait for him. Booth never did find out about the conversation between Aldo and Bones. A few weeks later when he took her to Paradise Lost for a drink Bones and Aldo acted as if they were meeting for the first time. Only Temperance noticed the smile from Aldo and it's meaning. He was truly happy for his friend because being with Dr. Temperance Brennan made Seeley Booth that happiest man alive. Maybe God wasn't such a bastard after all.

_This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong, _

_This is the last time I say it's been you all along, _

_This is the last time I let you in my door, _

_This is the last time, I won't hurt you anymore. _

_Oh, oh, oh, _

_This is the last time I'm asking you this, _

_Put my name on the top of your list, T_

_his is the last time I'm asking you why, You break my heart in the blink of an eye._


End file.
